One month down

Okay so that's the first month done.  4.5 kg lost and 68cm lost (38 I'm really comfy about, I'm a bit dodgy about one measurement that meant I lost 30cm).

Things I've found this time:

Personal training makes me feel safe and I work harder.   I'm doing more training this time and it feels like I'm getting better results without fear of injury. My trainers know me and I know that they'll push me but not so far that it is dangerous, making it easier to stretch my limits. I have a tendency to go too hard and hurt myself or overcompensate for injury and not work hard enough.  My trainers help me find the middle ground.

The elliptical trainer is not very scary and if I lock my core I don't feel motion sick when I get brave and take my hands off the centre handles and use my arms as well.  Plus if I use it as my base cardio option, I raise my heart rate more consistently and effectively than I do if I'm doing a recliner bike ride.

Talking of bikes - having one is awesome.  I went for my first ride around part of the lake on the weekend and it was great.  From my place to the Carillion, back to the footbridge near Allara Street, up to Garema Place and then back to my place. Admittedly the last two stops were split with food and a cold drink but up to Garema Place had been consistent, a break of maybe 2 mins at most. Making the transition from someone who is a pure pedestrian to someone with a transport option other shanks pony is quite exciting.

I can make better choices with food and not stuff my social life. I'm very social, I go out a lot and have people over frequently.  I simply have to plan.  I know the rules, this means I choose to exercise them or not.  Food is never going to be a big evil for me.  I don't want to have that relationship with it. I simply need to make a good choice out of my options rather than restrict myself and create a denial/binge situation.

Plan of Attack

My next 12 weeks look like this:


Monday: Spin Class, Core strength workshop and weigh in
Tuesday: Group PT, PT (one on one), Weekly Physical Challenge Wednesday:Body Combat, Half hour cardio intervals (HHCI), and group weight loss session
Thursdays: HHCI, Cross training workshop, Zumba and group PT by the lake
Friday: HHCI, boxing, body combat
Saturday: HHCI, zumba, body balance
Sunday: HHCI, body pump, body balance

Naturally there will be some weeks where that won't be possible but it's a good format to stick to where I can. My trainers are keeing a close eye on me so that's good. I'm also doing plenty of physio to ensure I don't hurt myself. I've got that endorphin buzz happening, my body loves the exercise, I just have to get through the first couple of weeks.

Time for a fresh start

It's always important to remember that when you start the journey again, the distance to the end is not as far as when you began the first time.  It's 2011 and I'm making some new starts.  New job - one that will come with it's own challenges but very much challenges I'm looking forward to aaaaannnndddd.... I'm starting to focus on myself again. No, I'm not spending hours gazing at myself in ponds a la narcissus but I have been spending some time working out what my goals for the year are re my physical and mental health.

I got in over my head a bit last year towards the end.  I got it done but there were costs and those costs involved the loss of routines that were good for me.

Time to reestablish those positive routines and reap the benefits from them.  Time to make the best choice I can make for me at the time, not the easiest choice.

I'm doing it in phases, experience having taught me that if I try to change everything at once it becomes too much and it all falls in a heap.

Step one:  With start of the new job, start riding to work again.  (As stupid as it sounds, I lost my garage pass for a couple of months and as my bike lives in the garage, I didn't ride.  Found pass, am riding again).

Step two: Get back to gym.  I love going to the gym, I love how it makes me feel and I love the amazing community that the girls at Fernwood Canberra City help create and maintain.  It's a simple fact that I'm happiest when I'm exercising regularly.

Step three:  Get Foxy!  The spring challenge at the gym kicks off in a couple of weeks and I can't wait. It's very structured and that appeals to my brain in managing it as a part of my lifestyle.  Plus my competitive nature kicks in.  This is also the time to start setting some better eating patterns in place.  I know the rules, I just have to create a way of following that works for me.

Step four: Maintain it!   This is the tricky one.  I need to ensure that I can maintain the patterns I create.

I've found that doing a bit of journalling helps me clarify my thoughts so expect me to witter on everynow and then.

WEEK 12 - WOOOOOO HOOOOOO

Week 12 was always going to be huge - 2 trips to Melbourne, a public holiday and I had 5 group training sessions to catch up on and roughly 4 days to do it in.  Plus on top of that, I was being woman of iron where my diet was concerned.  A huge goal for me as part of the challenge was to be under 130kg by the end of it.  I honestly don't know when this last was.  I was at my lowest weight I'd been at while at the gym by the end of last week but I still had a couple of kilos to go to break that magic barrier. Was so scared, wanting it so much and not being sure if I could achieve it.  I don't deal well with failure (somewhere my family and friends are screaming "understatement of the year" in very loud voices) and failing to meet this was going to hit really hard emotionally despite all the logic I was talking to myself.

I did it.  I weighed in on Thursday at 129.7kg.  This was simply huge for me.  To see a 12.. where for so long there was a 13...  Just amazing.  I wanted to do cartwheels but think I'll hold off on those for a while.

I can't believe I managed to survive 5 group PT sessions.  I talked to each of the trainers and deliberately didn't go 110% at any of them, have learnt my lesson, that way lies injury.  All of them were really supportive.  Ended up having to go to Belconnen for one of them, that was weird, very different environment.  I really love the community that Wendy and her team have created here at Canberra City, I really know that they care about me and the rest of the members, we're just not numbers on a page to them. I'm sure the Belconnen members have a similar experience but it felt very strange not to be in my comfort zone.  I think I'm a city girl, through and through. 

It's been an amazing journey this 12 weeks. I've achieved things I never thought possible and made even more friends along the way.  I have a greater understanding of what I can achieve if I put my mind to it and that my journey is achievable.  Sure occasionally there will be roadblocks and I'll wander off the beaten track but I'll get back on the road again and when I reach my goal, I know the girls will have cheered me along the whole way.  Can't wait for next year!

Week 11

Rising from the ashes is a good metaphor for the last week.  Made group training! Was brilliant to see the girls and how well they were doing.  Realised between life and public holidays I needed to start to make up my group PT sessions.  One of the girls asked me why I bothered - I wasn't going to win the national challenge.  It's not about that for me, it's about a sense of completion.  I know what I need to do to complete the challenge and 12 group pt sessions is one of those things.  It's the same way I've plugged away at my journal in draft form, even if I haven't managed to get them posted.  This is something I've committed to and I want to see it through. Really enjoyed seeing the different dynamics of the other two groups I worked with.

Weigh in on Tuesday was just as scary as I thought it would be - gained nearly 2 kgs.  Was a really good wake up call however.  I didn't chicken out and just not go because the results would be bad, I went, faced the music and now I know what I needed to do to get back on track.  I got strict with myself, no shortcuts, no excuses and no slip ups.  It's not sustainable long term but it is manageable and I managed to undo the damage I'd done by the end of the week. I can see a goal I've had for the longest time being in sight and I sooooooooo want to achieve it by the end of the challenge.

Really impressed with how quickly my fitness came back after the flu, couldn't have done this at all 11 weeks ago.  I survived a half hour cardio PT sessions.  I did a full minute of high knees.  Lu & I high fived each other afterwards we were so excited.  Managed to usher 3 shows at the Street Theatre, do the Dawn Service for Anzac day and get to work and hit the gym.  WOOT! The end is in sight.  I'm going to do this and I'm going to be great! 

Week 10 - Dying of the Lurgy

Must be hubris, mustn't it.  There I was last week all pumped and motivated, healthy eating, lots of exercise, yeah!  This week flu smacked with a big stick and alllllll my resolutions went out the window.  No gym for the week (which is a good thing - see Lu, Kiah, I finally get that message :) ) as my body had nothing, brain of fog and massive, massive comfort eating.  Cheese, white bread rolls, comfort food galore.  Healthiest thing I ate all week was some miso and apples provided by a friend but they were a highlight in a morass of unhealthy portion sizes and choices. 

*sigh*

Oh well, some weeks are like that, despite whatever the weigh in says next week, will get back on the horse.  Let's see what I can do in 2 weeks.

Week 9

Heh.  This is the major emotion I am feeling from the last week.  Smugness.  As silly as it sounds it all comes from a comment made by a friend of mine who in my head is really fit.  She said she was having to work to keep up with me on our walk.  Really reinforced to me the difference between size and fitness and the strides (heh, bad pun) I'd made in achieving my fitness levels.  My joy in being active is such a reward from my involvement with Fernwood and my rediscovery of what my body can do.  The girls manage to help me push through my fear and realise that I've strong than I think I am.  Loved the jumping challenge.  Lu was going to have to find a chair and measure where I'd ended up placing the blu tac on the wall.  Very silly but lots of fun.

Motivation has been okay but I've been soooooo busy when I look back at the last couple of months.  I want to make the last month of the challenge a great one.  One of my goals has been to remain in the top 5 foxy girls at our gym for the entire challenge and I'm doing okay so far.  Busyness has been a bit of an excuse for me this week - could have made some better food choices, I had planned things but the "too hard" excuse got pulled out of the bag.  Unlike last year when I was yo-yo'ing up and down in the challenge with my weight, I'd actually been trending really well, losing a little or maintaining each week.  Gained 100grams this week.  It's not much but I got disappointed in myself.  Discipline, I just need to maintain it. I need to be a priority for me, self sabotage is really stupid when you think about it.  Have been really thinking about my motivation and it's interesting.  I want to be healthy, I'd like that to involve a smaller dress size but I have a surprisingly good sense of self esteem.  I'm very lucky in that I carry my weight proportionally so that I don't feel unnatractive, just big. I want to be in control of my choices - what ones I make, what ones I don't?  The options to make those choices is really really important to me and I need to remember that before saying "it's too hard".