Time for a fresh start

It's always important to remember that when you start the journey again, the distance to the end is not as far as when you began the first time.  It's 2011 and I'm making some new starts.  New job - one that will come with it's own challenges but very much challenges I'm looking forward to aaaaannnndddd.... I'm starting to focus on myself again. No, I'm not spending hours gazing at myself in ponds a la narcissus but I have been spending some time working out what my goals for the year are re my physical and mental health.

I got in over my head a bit last year towards the end.  I got it done but there were costs and those costs involved the loss of routines that were good for me.

Time to reestablish those positive routines and reap the benefits from them.  Time to make the best choice I can make for me at the time, not the easiest choice.

I'm doing it in phases, experience having taught me that if I try to change everything at once it becomes too much and it all falls in a heap.

Step one:  With start of the new job, start riding to work again.  (As stupid as it sounds, I lost my garage pass for a couple of months and as my bike lives in the garage, I didn't ride.  Found pass, am riding again).

Step two: Get back to gym.  I love going to the gym, I love how it makes me feel and I love the amazing community that the girls at Fernwood Canberra City help create and maintain.  It's a simple fact that I'm happiest when I'm exercising regularly.

Step three:  Get Foxy!  The spring challenge at the gym kicks off in a couple of weeks and I can't wait. It's very structured and that appeals to my brain in managing it as a part of my lifestyle.  Plus my competitive nature kicks in.  This is also the time to start setting some better eating patterns in place.  I know the rules, I just have to create a way of following that works for me.

Step four: Maintain it!   This is the tricky one.  I need to ensure that I can maintain the patterns I create.

I've found that doing a bit of journalling helps me clarify my thoughts so expect me to witter on everynow and then.

Day 11 Climbing that mountain

Today is a bit of a slog.  I have a feeling that in the back of my head someone is singing some sort of spiritual to get myself through heavy labour.  I'm seeing some positives (skin is clearer and brighter, jaw definition is there again, feeling generally less puffy, have lost underarm cleavage - possibly TMI) but I've definitely hit the hard going part of the first month.  One of the changes I'm making this year is that I'll shift when I go to the gym.  Not stop going but when becomes important.  Can't do a morning? No problem.  Hit the gym at lunch or in the afternoon.  Feeling good, hit the gym in the morning. It's less about setting myself a rigid routine and more about making sure that the effort is sustainable.

Same thing with my food. Breakfast is sorted.  I'm comfortable, making good choices at home and at the gym and knowing what are some good options are if I head out.  I'm planning more effectively for eating during the week at the office.  Planning really is key.  If I've given myself options, I also haven't given myself an out for making a choice that is less than healthy.  I don't want to make anything a forbidden food as creating a good food vs evil food is neither sustainable or a healthy way to approach it.  Moderation in everything including moderation.  If I'm in a situation where the best choice still isn't fabulous, so be it.  I simply need to adjust the rest of my day or how much energy I'm expending.

Cycle at lunch is hard.  My legs feel heavy and its an effort to keep turning them over.  I manage some of the climbs but my knee is giving me a couple of warning twinges so I powerclimb (which is seated) rather than stand up in the saddle.  Leanne is no less frightening than last week. I notice that I can cope with adding more resistance when she suggests it far more than I was able to last week, despite my tiredness.  I'm noticing that my thighs are already starting to feel much firmer after only a week.  I'd like to get to a point that I feel comfortable climbing whenever the track calls for it. Hmm, good goal over 3 months.

Catch up with a friend for lunch.  Sushi. Mmmmmm. I love sushi.  Hits both the protein and the carb buttons square in the middle. I also like the fact that it is really easy to judge how much you've consumed of it.  Back to the office, having restocked the snack draw of awesome. Remembered to buy more of the yummy rice crackers so I don't run out half way through the fortnight this time.  Grab a fruit snack tub and some nuts about 3/4 of an hour before I'm due at the gym.

I've got PT tonight but I want to get 10k in the bike in first so I head to the gym and set myself up. It's amazing how cruddy cable tv can distract my legs from their tiredness. Fiona (who also has PT with Lu tonight) and I plot to try and tire Lu out before my session.  "No, no I don't understand how that works, could you show me again?", "I'm so much more motivated when you run on the treadmill beside me".  Both of us know its a vain hope but we laugh a lot while planning it in the change room.  It's a huge session with Lu tonight.  Highlights of it are the 60 squats holding a weight plate and the 60 crunches on the fitball holding a weight plate. I'm just smashed by the end of it.

I get home and discover that for all my planning I seem to have completely forgotten about dinner.  I refuse to give into temptation and order $40 of Thai food (min delivery order) and instead try the new biggest loser range from Dominos. I can advise that the bbq chicken, mushroom & pineapple pizza is really tasty although the garden salad was really wilted and ick.  Thankfully I had some left over veges from dinner the night before.  Another day done.

Day 6 - Ah the weekend

I've got a really busy weekend planned but I want to ensure that I make time for my exercise.  I want to have a strong first weekend to use that for motivation for the following week so set my alarm for 6.40 (to allow for snooze time).   I pull together my clothes for the day, grab a quick bite and a coffee and go. I'm finding that alternating between oats, weetbix and cornflakes is meaning that I'm not getting bored with one particular cereal.

Adele greets me with a smile and I throw my stuff in the locker. I've got a full morning, my own workout, a class and the PT session with Kiah that she reminded me of yesterday so I need to be organised. I set up my bench and weights for pump and then head off to the bike.  I program a hill setting and get stuck in. It's an odd thing but I'm finding I'm sweating a lot more than I normally do when I exercise. Maybe its the humidity at present, it's been really muggy this week.  Dash in to pump at the end of my ride and get going. Haven't done this particular release, really like the music.  This is a full hour class so we hit all ten tracks. The change to my upper body weights is helping. Not getting the shoulder twinges.  I finish the stretch and head out to meet Kiah via a quick dash to change room for deodorant. Its for the common good.  We're not doing boxing. Woot!  I love my boxing but I think I'm just too tired this week.  The half hour with Kiah is tough, not surprisingly I'm fatiguing a bit more quickly than normal but I make it through to the end.

I'm at the Coordinators meeting for the National Folk Festival today so grab an apple on my way out of the gym (thanks Wendy, having the fruit is great!) and head for the bus. I've got a bit of time to kill so eat my apple and have a chat to mum. She mentions that she's noticed that when I'm exercising a lot I've a lot more energy for the rest of my life as well.  It's great to have that external validation.  I'm thinking about the food today.  In hindsight I should have mentioned it to Jess from HR and asked what were my options?  Get to EPIC and grab another coffee.   We settle down to the meeting.   Eventually we break for lunch.  Okay now to see.  Oh! Wraps.  I grab half a turkey/salad wrap and half a vege wrap, a little bit of watermelon and some pineapple.   My other choices are a chicken & mayo wrap (lots and lots of mayo), lots and lots of little sandwiches.  I've gone with the wraps as I know how much I'm eating breadwise whereas lots of little sandwiches and I'll get carried away.

Back into the breakout sessions, really great to meet the other coordinators.  At 4.20 I realise I'm starving so grab another wrap half.   Eventually the meeting breaks up and we go to the Old Canberra Inn for the drinks and nibblies being put on by the Festival.  I'm not in the mood for wine or beer so I get a soda water and lime.  It may become my drink of choice.  The nibbles come out and they are not the healthiest of foods - party snack type food, sausage rolls, cocktail franks, chicken nuggets, meatballs.  I think about it and make a conscious choice.  I'm going to have some but I'm going to pace myself and that will be dinner.  They taste okay but are not fabulous.  I think it's more the social aspect of eating and drinking that is making me want to participate rather than any major desire for the snack foods. They're not things I would normally choose but I'm tired, hungry and they are there.  Better to control it and nibble than go home and binge.   The lovely K gives me a lift home and I flop onto the couch.  Big day.

Day 5 Hitting the Wall

Oh that wall. There it is.  Friday morning the alarm went off at 5 and I ... didn't.  I'd plan to hit the RPM glass at 6.05 but I just needed some sleep.  I'm trying to listen to what my body needs and not burn myself out so I reset the alarm and got up at 7.30. Really struggled with getting going.  Made sure I had some breakfast (having some choices at home makes things so much easy), walked out the door, realised I'd forgotten my dinner and headed back to collect it.  Got stuck into taskmargeddon once I hit the office.  I think I'm making progress but it's still a little over whelming.

Had a look at my gym timetable and spot a spin class at lunch. Have a quick snack about half an hour before I'm planning on leaving. This sleeping in thing has put my schedule out it feels foodwise. All feels a bit late. Head off to the gym only to find that the instructors can't make it. Bugger. Adele mentions that the pump class is on so decide to that. My it's been a while since I did pump.  I watch my weights and pace myself.  Still do it a bit tough. Realise that I need to drop my upper body weights to look after my shoulder so I do.  Its still frurstrating but I know it's getting stronger, I just have to be patient.

My legs are screaming after pump so I jump on a bike for half an hour.  I know from listening to my instructors that turning my legs over will help flush the lactic acid from my muscles and also help me get to my goal of 20km.  I'm feeling so much better. The happy endorphins are obviously starting to kick in.

Back to work, focus, focus, focus.  Focus made much easier by the consumption of lunch.  Yay for lunch.  I've got a big night planned but I've made a commitment to myself that I'm heading back to gym before the pub.  Knowing I'm going out, I  put in a much higher intensity half hour on the bike which leaves me huffing and puffing.  Once I'm at the pub I think about having a drink but am not really in the mood so grab a diet coke.  The girls head off and I tuck into my dinner. Mmmm stirfry with a hint of chilli. Knowing it was there meant that I didn't stress about it or pick a cruddy choice. I know I've got a day tomorrow which I can't really control the catering so making good choices today takes some of the pressure off.    The show is fabulous and  I slowly meander my way home.  Tired but happy.

Day 4 - The nice lady scares me

Thursday, sleep in day. Beloved, beloved sleep in day.  It's amazing how much getting up at 6.30 didn't hurt in comparison to 5am. Not having the ready options of the gym to provide me breakfast meant I had to think a bit more about my choices for breakfast. Oats! Oats are good choice. For the first time in years I used my scales to measure something other than an ingredient for baking.  Portion control is something I know I need to pay attention to. I add a chopped up peacherine (peach crossed with a nectarine) and a teaspoon of stevia. My family have always made their porridge with water and then added a little bit of milk to eat it so out came the low fat milk.  Felt really full. Check of the gym bag and blackberry and then out the door with my girlfriend who was borrowing my parking space on a meander to work.  Don't feel tempted to grab a coffee but don't feel like I'm depriving myself of anything either.  I can have it when I want it, I just don't need to grab one on auto pilot.

Hit the office and I'm pretty much immersing myself in what appears to be a task list the size of the kokoda trail. Start to stress out mid morning about getting it all done so I stop and take a step back. Today I need the headspace of a good workout at lunch so I have a snack from the amazing draw of good choices and put my head down. Head to the gym for what I think is an RPM class but turns out to be cycle run by Leanne. Leanne is my slim coach, my kind, understanding, gentle slim coach.  That turns out to be slim. Cycle is another matter. The woman is a complete machine who could climb for what felt like 35 of the 45 mins of the class.  Plus she just kept adding resistance. It was insane.  The nice lady scared me.

Doing cycle at lunch after RPM yesterday morning was a real challenge. Definitely felt it in what the balance instructor politely referred to as my "sit bones".  Tomorrow is going be a world of pain. Leanne does say that 3 spin classes a week and you won't feel it.  I'm not entirely sure I believe her.  Staggered out of the class and into body balance.  This wasn't so much bravado as a cunning plan. I really needed to stretch properly and balance was the way to do it being a mix of yoga, tai chi, pilates and balance tracks. Plus you get a relaxation/meditation track at the end and I wanted that a lot.  Finished up the class, got changed and headed back to the office, knowing I could cope with the day.  A chat with my wonderful boss re taskmageddon further affirmed that.  

Found out that there is a weekly challenge this year as part of foxy - this week it's endurance which means pushups.  How many push ups can you do maintaining perfect form in 60 seconds? Currently it is 23 incline pushups (doing pushups using a bar rather than being flat on the floor).  Not bad. Sarah (the member motivator) kept count for me, watching my form and keeping me motivated. A minute is a long time.  My body weight is a lot of weight to push up using only my upper body.   Thankfully I'd done a couple of ten minute stints on the bike to keep me warm before I did it.

Got home and threw together a beef and vege stirfry. Chilli from my garden plus eggplant, zucchini, capsicum, coriander, ginger, garlic, soy. Nyom plus I get lunch tomorrow.  I love it when a plan comes together.  Felt really happy about the proportions of my dinner, 20% meat, 80% veges.  Also happy with my portion size.  I'm feeling very in control of my diet despite the stress and this is a big thing.  Emotion is a factor when I'm eating, boredom is a huge issue, negative emotions in general. I need to be aware of it and not to let it become an excuse for me to just give in and make unhealthy choices. I have other choices, other methods of dealing with these emotions, it's time to use them.

Actually, thinking about planning, my left overs will make a great dinner for Friday night rather than a lunch. I'm ushering at the Street Theatre so won't head home before the show.  Will pack up the left overs and take them to work. Planning, I remember you well.