Week Six

Boxing, boxing, boxing.  Let me tell you nothing is quite like thumping the living bejeezus out of someone's pads or a boxing stand to relieve stress and stress - there's been a lot of it.  I'm in the process of wrapping up the legal end of a 9 year relationship and would love to say that it's been a constructive process with help on both sides.  More games and hoops to jump through than a side show is what it feels like.  I'm really proud of myself for not hitting the pantry but rather the gloves in response.  My head has been all over the place and I'm surprised at the amount of exercise I've been able to do despite that.   Yay for happy endorphins. 

Another big thing for me last week was that I got back on a rowing machine.  I hurt myself last year on a rower and didn't look after myself properly, as a result, I ended up with a bit of a shoulder issue which has taken a lot of work to rehab.  Thankfully my trainers cared enough to keep pushing me to see someone when I came out with the line of "I've got this twinge in my arm" for *cough* four *cough* months.   The challenge this week was to do a 200m row and the sheer pyschological factor of gettting on the machine and beating that fear was huge.  Did I go all out and blow the time out of the water? No.  However I did get on that machine, successfully complete the challenge and realise that I COULD do this again and it was time to start building it back into my routine.  Plus I signed up for extra boxing lessons with a group of friends at lunch time.  Before Fernwood I never would have had the confidence to undertake something like that and it was yet another comfort zone I pushed out of.  Had a good chat with my trainer and she really encouraged me as well as thanking me for letting her know.

In between gigs this week (the amazing Emilie Autumn and Massive Attack) lodged the divorce this week but the universe rewarded me with being invited to the Massive Attack after party. Armed with the confidence of a good friend, a newly fabulous hair cut and great feedback from the girls in the gym, I felt confident enough to hang out with internation rock stars.  What a change!  Even six months ago I may have been looking for an out, embarassed and not wanting to be the fat friend.  Yes I'm on journey but I'm happy and confident that the work I've been doing shows and I'm feeling great.