Week 9

Heh.  This is the major emotion I am feeling from the last week.  Smugness.  As silly as it sounds it all comes from a comment made by a friend of mine who in my head is really fit.  She said she was having to work to keep up with me on our walk.  Really reinforced to me the difference between size and fitness and the strides (heh, bad pun) I'd made in achieving my fitness levels.  My joy in being active is such a reward from my involvement with Fernwood and my rediscovery of what my body can do.  The girls manage to help me push through my fear and realise that I've strong than I think I am.  Loved the jumping challenge.  Lu was going to have to find a chair and measure where I'd ended up placing the blu tac on the wall.  Very silly but lots of fun.

Motivation has been okay but I've been soooooo busy when I look back at the last couple of months.  I want to make the last month of the challenge a great one.  One of my goals has been to remain in the top 5 foxy girls at our gym for the entire challenge and I'm doing okay so far.  Busyness has been a bit of an excuse for me this week - could have made some better food choices, I had planned things but the "too hard" excuse got pulled out of the bag.  Unlike last year when I was yo-yo'ing up and down in the challenge with my weight, I'd actually been trending really well, losing a little or maintaining each week.  Gained 100grams this week.  It's not much but I got disappointed in myself.  Discipline, I just need to maintain it. I need to be a priority for me, self sabotage is really stupid when you think about it.  Have been really thinking about my motivation and it's interesting.  I want to be healthy, I'd like that to involve a smaller dress size but I have a surprisingly good sense of self esteem.  I'm very lucky in that I carry my weight proportionally so that I don't feel unnatractive, just big. I want to be in control of my choices - what ones I make, what ones I don't?  The options to make those choices is really really important to me and I need to remember that before saying "it's too hard".